Sunday, April 5, 2015

Being vulnerable

Hi, my name is Karli and I have Crohn's disease. In case you don't know what Crohn's is, this is what Google said..."A chronic inflammatory bowel disease that affects the lining of the digestive tract." In other words, it wreaks havoc on your colon. I have chosen not to take the easy way out - taking a drug for the rest of my life and eating the same way I was before. I have chosen the hard way. The way that my body is healing itself from the inside eating extremely healthy. 

Tonight though was one of those times where I literally wanted to scream because the pain was so bad. This disease is embarrassing to me on a certain level. My body is doing things that I can't control and I hate that. I have no issues talking about it with others....but when you can't control certain functions that's a whole other story. Many days I just want to be home but I can't. 

I have no clue how well my colon is doing. Part of me wants to find out, but the other part doesn't want to have to go through a colonoscopy...although I should probably get one done within the next few years. It's not the most pleasant experience I've ever been through. 

When I am in so much pain I tend to cry out to God why. Many times over He points me to Psalm 34, and tonight was no exception. The beginning of the chapter starts out with praise, which was the furthest thing from my mind. By the end of the chapter though His praise was continually on my lips. 

Today in Bible Study we read in Exodus 34 about Moses' face being radiant after He talked with God. Only one other Person was seen having a radiant face and that was Jesus Christ. When you read Psalm 34 though, as a believer, I have the opportunity to be radiant if I look to Him. I love the fact that God used pain to draw the parallel between these passages and be able to apply it to my life.

At the end of the chapter this verse comes along...."Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all." It doesn't say that I won't have afflictions, but if I am found righteous in God's eyes, then the trials....and pain....I go through aren't gone through alone but with God beside me. There is rest on the other side and peace and that can only be found in Him alone. 

Tonight probably won't be the last time I feel that pain, but I know I can face it and weather the storm because of what Christ did on the cross for me. This is a day of celebration for Christians everywhere. Christ rose from the grave!!!! He is alive! I serve a risen Savior! When I get my eyes off of me and my pain/problems, I truly can praise the Lord for what He has done for me as well as will do for me and for who He is. The great I AM.

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