In Short, I'm Moving

The last time I wrote a post I had a friend message me on Facebook and said "Come live in my extra room for free" and then at the end of the message she said "PS I mean that" - um, ok. I was thinking, this is what she's said before, however, this time seemed different. When I was in Uganda, she told me I should come visit, if not move down to where her family lived and go to her church. A job would eventually come. 

You see, all this time I haven't been wanting to be a secretary, but it's all I know how to do in order to move to some other place. So, what do you think I've been searching for these past months? A secretarial position in a warm state. Last week I was especially frustrated, particularly as I was filling out an application for a job I know I didn't want. Seriously, the entire time I was filling it out I kept telling myself to stop, but I like to finish what I start. 

Then I get this message and it seriously seemed like God was talking to me. I've been reading a book titled "Discerning the Voice of God" by Priscilla Shirer. I had picked this book up a couple of months back and thought, I should read this since I am trying to figure out what the next step is. Funny thing is, I put the book away for a bit. I finally go around to reading it, but not faithfully like I wanted to. I picked it up again on Monday and these last few chapters have really hit home for me during this particular time. Especially the chapter I read today, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

I told this friend that I've been seriously thinking about moving in with them, but haven't had any direction in that way particularly...until I read the message Tuesday morning. Then the floodgates opened. I told her that I eat a certain way, not the typical American fare. Thinking that this would be a game changer, she throws something at me out of left field - she wants me to help teach her how to eat healthier - pretty much the exact way I eat. I about fell out of my chair. 

I wanted to make sure her husband was ok and he didn't hesitate on being cool with it, as long as I am looking for a job. Oh yeah, no problem there!

On Tuesday afternoon I sought the Scriptures to see if there was any direction/peace about this. I did pray specifically for a plane ticket that was $100 or less. Well, I found one....Spirit Airlines. I would not recommend this airline to anyone unless you are only taking the world's smallest carry on. They were selling a seat for $84. Bingo I thought. Then I searched for baggage fees....that added up to $55 for two pieces of luggage, plus the world's smallest carry on. Um, no thanks since that was only a few dollars short of what I found on Southwest.

I didn't purchase a ticket that day mainly because I still didn't have complete peace that this was the right thing to do. That night my sister called and I ended up telling her about this possibility. She said that it was obvious that God was in this for sure with the way He was laying it all out for me. I was getting a little excited, but this has happened before and then it doesn't pan out.

Wednesday comes along and I'm still talking back and forth with my friend and she asked me if I was coming since the way I was talking sounded like it. I had told my mom the same thing, but I really wanted confirmation from the Bible that this is what God wanted me to do. I believe that if we make a decision, it needs to be backed up biblically - sure fire way that God is in it.

I asked my friend a few more questions and was blown away by the answers she was giving me. It was a clear sign to me that God's best was for me to move to Tyler, TX. I couldn't really believe this was happening.

Thursday, I was reading in the book I mentioned above and the chapter was titled, "Yes, Lord." When we hear the voice of God, we are to obey immediately. She talked about Abraham and his testing - God told him to take Isaac up the mountain to be his sacrifice. Abraham had no idea why, didn't ask questions, he just did. Earlier in his life God told him to go without any clear direction and Abraham went. This was me. God is telling me to go without any clear direction beyond that and being His child I need to obey. I don't know what's in store for me, but I'd rather follow God's leading than do what I was doing and would continue to do here.

I then looked up ticket prices and the date and time I was going to go had a price hike of $20. No big deal, right? Wrong - especially when you don't have a job. So the Lord nudged me to look at the whole webpage again and I saw something that showed the cheapest flights per day. I clicked on it and found a ticket priced $118. That's it....with 2 free bags and a carry on that I know I can take on a Southwest plane. (FYI, flying on a Tuesday is the cheapest day of the week to fly. You're welcome.)

So, I am officially moving to Tyler, TX. No, I do not have a job or a car. Yes, I do have money for a car. Instead of leaving in just a little over 2 weeks, I got a cheaper ticket to fly a week later. There are a lot of I don't knows, but I need to take things one day at a time and commit absolutely everything to prayer. I also need to make sure that I am allowing myself to hear my God when He speaks to me. 

Thank you to those who have been praying for me, I still need those prayers as I now have a little direction. 

No distrust made him [Abraham] waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised. That is why his faith was “counted to him as righteousness.” But the words “it was counted to him” were not written for his sake alone, but for ours also. It will be counted to us who believe in him who raised from the dead Jesus our Lord, who was delivered up for our trespasses and raised for our justification.

~

Romans 4:20-25

Still here?

So, today I was just talking to God and told Him that I'm a little frustrated (ok, a lot) with the lack of direction I have right now. I'm ok with where I'm at. You know though, I would really like to have that little nudge deep down (that I can only attribute to the Holy Spirit) pointing me to where I should even start looking.

I got really frustrated looking for secretarial work this past week...even more than I usually do. I don't want to be a secretary, oh, I'm sorry, the more politically correct term would be administrative assistant (so much longer to type out though!). Why am I looking for that position you ask? It's what I'm good at and it's all I know. I've thought about going back to school for something, but that costs money...as I found out when I tried my hand at taking a paralegal class - the law is not for me (however, it was my first 4.0 gpa in a semester!).

Ideally I would like to live someplace warm (who me?). I'm really starting to debate just spinning the globe (if I can find a physical one) and wherever I put my finger, that's where I'm moving. Hey - I've lived in the middle of the Pacific before, so it's no big deal if I land there again, right? Ok, maybe not, because I don't really want to deal with across the ocean moving again. 

I would like to work in a small business - something that doesn't involve sitting at a desk all day though. It's kind of difficult finding those small businesses on the internet. Found a vegan cafe that I would love to work at, but they aren't hiring full time or even part time really. They could only give me a few hours....I told them that I might still be available if they ever had a full time position open up. That was back in like January....

On a happier note, I fell in love with Joe tonight....lentil sloppy joe that is. Too bad I had already had supper and made this for tomorrow....tomorrow night can't come soon enough!

No news....isn't always good news

I cannot believe that it's already the middle of April. Never in my life did I think that waiting could go so fast. I've had several people ask me what I do during the day and every time I answer them, "I don't really know." I've found myself wandering around the apartment because I don't really know what to do to keep myself busy. I've been doing a lot of reading and even though I absolutely love reading, there comes a point when I can't do it anymore. I've rearranged my stuff a few times...by unpacking and packing again. I've done a lot of cooking. There's really nothing on TV to watch during the day. I don't know what I'm going to do when I can't have at least an hour of quiet time with God every morning. There have been times when I wake up and think - if I sleep longer than nighttime will come sooner and the day will be over sooner and the next day will come sooner...because waiting can be tiring.

I have been looking for a job. In doing that, I've found that looking every day can be a bit overwhelming and discouraging. New jobs don't necessarily pop up once a day. I know I've said I don't want a desk job, but have given that over to God. I am good at what I have done in the past, so that's what I'm sticking with right now. My goal is to apply to at least 2 jobs each week. I have a system set up in how I do it and every time I'm about to start I give it completely over to God. He knows where I'm supposed to go and knows that I hate filling out applications. I mean, seriously, who loves doing that anyways? I'm not good at selling myself. I'd rather the potential employer talk to previous employers about me.

I'm feeling restless and am getting cabin fever. I don't have friends around here and have no transportation. I'm not complaining, it's just what it is. I'm learning that I don't really have clothes for spring time and left all my capris and most of my nice shirts in Uganda....so I think a trip to Goodwill is going to be in my near future...with a couple 25% off coupons in hand. I've lived in the same "pajama" clothes for the last four months that I don't really know how to dress to go "out" anymore...that's even to the grocery store mind you.

A couple of job postings that I applied for are closing this Friday, so I'm hoping that means I'll hear from someone next week sometime. I really don't know what I would have done without my mom during this time. I keep thanking her and apologizing for having to be living off of her. God is supplying my needs and for that I am grateful.

Perspective

"Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:8

Perspective - what does that look like? For me personally, that's coming to an understanding of why I still have no direction for a job. Reading through the book of Job has been eye opening for me. Yes, I have read the book many times before, but never while I didn't have a job. Job and his friends were not looking at the big picture that God had. What happens to us and to others is all in God's great plan - whatever that may be. Me not having a job right now is part of God's big picture.

I don't understand how that all works and I'm not sure I want to as God's thoughts are so much higher than mine. Getting the focus off the fact that I don't have a job and need one and on the blessings that I'm being allowed to have poured out on me has changed my perspective. A close family friend is legally blind. He is not able to read anymore and so he has asked others to read books out loud to record so that he can read again. Yes, they do make audio books now, but not all the books he would like to read are audio books. While I have the extra time I'm able to record for him...and in turn be a blessing. Granted the books he wants read are over 400 pages long...but hey, I've got the time.

I'm also able to help a little with my brother and sister-in-law by being free to babysit my nephews. Not having a car has created a little problem, but my mom and sister-in-law are both willing to drive to drop off/pick up when needed.

This isn't the place I thought I would be in right now. I figured I'd take December off to spend time with family, search for a job, find one, and then move in January. Well, it's January already. I'm still spending time with family. I'm still searching for a job. I have not found one. I'm not moving anytime soon. I have come to a conclusion that I don't want a desk job. I'm good at it...so branching out has been a little scary for me...and still is. I don't want to go back to school...mainly because I don't have the money to do that right now. I have dreams, but don't know how to go about obtaining those dreams.

I was reading an article that stated it's ok that waiting on God is hard. The author finished the article by quoting 2 Corinthians 4:16-18:

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

What's Next?

I have no clue what God wants me to do next. I don't feel led in any direction...and that's killing me. Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful for the opportunity to spend the month of December with family, but after that I'm ready to get going with whatever God has for me next.

If nothing comes up, my mom has been gracious enough to let me stay at her place and my brother and sister-in-law have said the same....but it's that feeling of not really my home. I also really want to find a church home. I'm missing having a church family. With living so far away from my own family for many years, I've come to greatly appreciate a church family that I can fit into and minister alongside with. Don't take your church family for granted!

Today I went online for a little bit to look for jobs. I know I'm good at secretarial work, although I'm not sure that I really want to continue doing that. I found a position opened in Plano, TX....it's fairly warm there. It's definitely warmer than Illinois!

This isn't a long post as there isn't much to update on my job-hunting. I am so very thankful for a roof over my head and food in my stomach...the kind that I can eat without having issues that is! That's for another post though.

What to do...what to do...

Found a bank today - absolutely free checking with no minimum requirement! That is a huge blessing. If you are traveling abroad anytime soon, there will be a 3% fee on your total amount when you use your debit card (possibly credit too, but since I don't have one, I don't need to know). If you use an ATM machine to withdraw, there will be a $5 fee on top of the fee to use the machine itself. Not too bad considering I won't be using an ATM frequently.

I somehow missed the fact that I only get to take one free bag of up to 50 lbs to Uganda. One extra bag is $60 and two extra bags would be $200. Trying to figure out what to do about that. Would like to take more bags for donations, so gotta work on figuring out what to take and what to buy there, then would try to figure out how to bring just 1 bag back since it's free. I know I can get stuff there, so I just might take the bare necessities.The only thing would be if I buy stuff (read trinkets) and want to bring it back, I would probably need another bag. Although I guess there's nothing wrong with leaving everything I took for them to use!

I am also trying to figure out what pieces of luggage to take. I have one suitcase that in of itself is already heavy, so I know I'm not taking that one. It's my largest one, so I'm a little sad about that. I might just go buy some sports-type bags to take donations in.

So many decisions are coming my way...what to do, what to do!

What's up with August?

I’ve been asked what I’ll be doing for an entire month off. First on my list of things to do is sleep. I haven’t been sleeping well with all the transitions and want to make sure I’m as rested as I can be physically and emotionally for the work God has in store for me.

I’m going to spend time with my family. Besides my sister and 2 nieces it’s been almost 1 ½ years since I’ve seen them. Unfortunately I don’t think I’ll see my brother who lives in North Carolina. Hopefully we’ll be reunited in December at some point.

I plan on spending time alone with my great God and Savior and taking a serious look at my life. As you all know, I don’t have any idea what I’ll be doing when I come back from Uganda in December. I want to make sure that I’m in a position to be able to hear Him speak to me – whether it’s something I need to change right now or telling me an idea of what I’ll do when I get back. Times like these don’t come around very often. I know it will be a struggle for me not to go into complete veg out mode and create a structure that centers on just me.

I plan on reading Follow Me by David Platt. 2 years ago I read his first book Radical. That book left me wanting to be completely open to whatever/wherever God wanted me to do/go. I look forward to how God will use Platt’s next book in my life. I just want to be open to the leading of the Spirit!

But, first off, I plan on spending time with friends in Phoenix. As you read this I’ll be wrapping my visit up…but as I type this I’m on the plane taking me to them. Here’s to a great month that will fly by in the blink of an eye!

Aloha Oahu

Today I said goodbye to my home for the past 3 years. I held an outpouring of tears back as I said goodbye to some incredibly precious friends. As I type this I can’t help but be overwhelmed by the goodness of God in putting these friends in my life just when I needed them the most. I’m also having a hard time not bawling my eyes out on the plane.

Wrapping up life wherever you are at can be very draining. I’ve moved many times in the past 10 years and it hasn’t gotten easier. I thought I would be ok with selling off most of my possessions that I had on Hawaii, but still ended up having to check in 2 bags plus have a roll carry-on (which, by the way, sort of lost some of the roller part to the wheels in the airport…am praying that it gets me to my mom’s place in Chi-town.). My goal was to pack the carry-on suitcase in one of the bigger suitcases, but I was 10 pounds over, so had to quickly unpack and repack at the last second.

I want to say a huge shout out to my church on Oahu – Central Oahu Bible Church. Thank you for your sweet fellowship over these past 3 years and for your generous love offering that you gave to me. I’m incredibly humbled that you would even want to do this…I still can’t believe it. Thank you doesn’t seem sufficient for your giving spirits. I wish I could come visit when I return from Uganda to give you an update – maybe one day. May God richly bless your ministry and your desire to put Him first in our ohana. Thank you Charles and Reina Hiers for following God’s call on your lives to take the pastorate position at this church. I look forward to hearing all that God does with you and your family!

To my friends at Hanalani Schools – thank you for loving me, even though I don’t deserve it. I could go on and on about how God has used each of you in my life to draw me closer to Him! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Continue to desire to serve Him in whatever capacity He has you at right now and in the future.

Thank you to my family for supporting me through all my many transitions over the years. Living an ocean apart from you for so many years has left me with a deeper love for each one of you and a desire to see His handprint on your life. I can’t wait to see almost all of you in the month of August.

Now – it’s on to the next great adventure that God has allowed me to be apart of. Amani Baby Cottage – here I come!!!