No news....isn't always good news

I cannot believe that it's already the middle of April. Never in my life did I think that waiting could go so fast. I've had several people ask me what I do during the day and every time I answer them, "I don't really know." I've found myself wandering around the apartment because I don't really know what to do to keep myself busy. I've been doing a lot of reading and even though I absolutely love reading, there comes a point when I can't do it anymore. I've rearranged my stuff a few times...by unpacking and packing again. I've done a lot of cooking. There's really nothing on TV to watch during the day. I don't know what I'm going to do when I can't have at least an hour of quiet time with God every morning. There have been times when I wake up and think - if I sleep longer than nighttime will come sooner and the day will be over sooner and the next day will come sooner...because waiting can be tiring.

I have been looking for a job. In doing that, I've found that looking every day can be a bit overwhelming and discouraging. New jobs don't necessarily pop up once a day. I know I've said I don't want a desk job, but have given that over to God. I am good at what I have done in the past, so that's what I'm sticking with right now. My goal is to apply to at least 2 jobs each week. I have a system set up in how I do it and every time I'm about to start I give it completely over to God. He knows where I'm supposed to go and knows that I hate filling out applications. I mean, seriously, who loves doing that anyways? I'm not good at selling myself. I'd rather the potential employer talk to previous employers about me.

I'm feeling restless and am getting cabin fever. I don't have friends around here and have no transportation. I'm not complaining, it's just what it is. I'm learning that I don't really have clothes for spring time and left all my capris and most of my nice shirts in Uganda....so I think a trip to Goodwill is going to be in my near future...with a couple 25% off coupons in hand. I've lived in the same "pajama" clothes for the last four months that I don't really know how to dress to go "out" anymore...that's even to the grocery store mind you.

A couple of job postings that I applied for are closing this Friday, so I'm hoping that means I'll hear from someone next week sometime. I really don't know what I would have done without my mom during this time. I keep thanking her and apologizing for having to be living off of her. God is supplying my needs and for that I am grateful.

Perspective

"Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:8

Perspective - what does that look like? For me personally, that's coming to an understanding of why I still have no direction for a job. Reading through the book of Job has been eye opening for me. Yes, I have read the book many times before, but never while I didn't have a job. Job and his friends were not looking at the big picture that God had. What happens to us and to others is all in God's great plan - whatever that may be. Me not having a job right now is part of God's big picture.

I don't understand how that all works and I'm not sure I want to as God's thoughts are so much higher than mine. Getting the focus off the fact that I don't have a job and need one and on the blessings that I'm being allowed to have poured out on me has changed my perspective. A close family friend is legally blind. He is not able to read anymore and so he has asked others to read books out loud to record so that he can read again. Yes, they do make audio books now, but not all the books he would like to read are audio books. While I have the extra time I'm able to record for him...and in turn be a blessing. Granted the books he wants read are over 400 pages long...but hey, I've got the time.

I'm also able to help a little with my brother and sister-in-law by being free to babysit my nephews. Not having a car has created a little problem, but my mom and sister-in-law are both willing to drive to drop off/pick up when needed.

This isn't the place I thought I would be in right now. I figured I'd take December off to spend time with family, search for a job, find one, and then move in January. Well, it's January already. I'm still spending time with family. I'm still searching for a job. I have not found one. I'm not moving anytime soon. I have come to a conclusion that I don't want a desk job. I'm good at it...so branching out has been a little scary for me...and still is. I don't want to go back to school...mainly because I don't have the money to do that right now. I have dreams, but don't know how to go about obtaining those dreams.

I was reading an article that stated it's ok that waiting on God is hard. The author finished the article by quoting 2 Corinthians 4:16-18:

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

What's Next?

I have no clue what God wants me to do next. I don't feel led in any direction...and that's killing me. Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful for the opportunity to spend the month of December with family, but after that I'm ready to get going with whatever God has for me next.

If nothing comes up, my mom has been gracious enough to let me stay at her place and my brother and sister-in-law have said the same....but it's that feeling of not really my home. I also really want to find a church home. I'm missing having a church family. With living so far away from my own family for many years, I've come to greatly appreciate a church family that I can fit into and minister alongside with. Don't take your church family for granted!

Today I went online for a little bit to look for jobs. I know I'm good at secretarial work, although I'm not sure that I really want to continue doing that. I found a position opened in Plano, TX....it's fairly warm there. It's definitely warmer than Illinois!

This isn't a long post as there isn't much to update on my job-hunting. I am so very thankful for a roof over my head and food in my stomach...the kind that I can eat without having issues that is! That's for another post though.

Have Mercy!

Week 12 Recap

Last week already...where has the time gone. This week was filled with many lasts. Last time working with these mamas, last time snuggling with my precious little ones. Last times walking into town while it's still warm outside (for me that is).

Who couldn't love this face?!

A few major things happened this week. We said goodbye to 2 little girls. One girl was reunited with her jaja (gramma) and another was officially adopted. One girl's adoptive parents arrived in country and are just waiting for her court date to happen (which was pushed back, of course) to be able to take her to home.

Frida with her jaja

The oldest 5 baby girls all turn one within a months time so we had a very small birthday party for them that included dress up and cupcakes. While that was going on, there were a few other babies free to roam around who thought it would be a great idea to eat the cake off the ground that their sisters were dropping.

The birthday girls all dolled up!

Rosie was having a hard time grabbing the crumbs, so she decided to just dive bomb the crumbs!

One major accomplishment that I have been praying for is that I'd be able to see Mercy take her first steps. I was borrowing someone's camera because I left mine in my room and started taking pictures when out of the blue Mercy stood up and decided now would be a great time to take a few steps. I had the camera aimed on her...I couldn't believe it! (I have also come to the realization that if I ever have kids I'm going to be one of those moms constantly taking pictures of them to be able to remember everything!) I had been praying for this for a month, but this last week I was very fervent in my prayer for this. I yelled and the Mama in the nursery with me yelled and we couldn't stop laughing....it was awesome! You that have kids understand.

Happy Birthday to my precious baby girl!

When the babies get moved up into the big kid's cottages they are able to go on an outing. Since two of my babies moved up while I was there, they were now eligible to go with the aunties on their own. For my last outing I decided I wanted to take Sarah and Ann out. We took them on their very first boda boda ride (in case you forgot what a boda boda is, it's a motorcycle with a long seat on it for many passengers) that was a success. I had Sarah and there were a few times I thought we were going to fall off due to her constantly looking everywhere at once.

One good looking girl with her smart clothes and sparkly hot pink Toms

I had to say goodbye to the babies this week. The last night I was with them for bed time was not easy at all. I started to put the babies down after supper, but had to stop because I couldn't keep the tears back. Didn't really want to be sobbing by the time I put the last baby to bed. So instead I went back into the nursery, grabbed Mercy, and just cuddled with her until she was the last one. The next day I had to officially say goodbye to her. It went better than I thought it would. However, looking back at pictures my heart is being ripped apart again. Time will heal all wounds....it just takes a long time sometimes.

Mama Betty 1 and Mama Betty 2 - amazing ladies!

Because I love this picture of Rosie....yes, her head is shaved...

Thank you so much for your support through my volunteering time. During this last week I received several encouraging notes from people back in the states and know that God used them to help get me through the last few days.

I was asked if I was ready to take her home....the answer is a resounding YES!

Baby it's cold outside....AND inside

I am currently covered from head to toe minus my fingers and part of my face. It's COLD! I'm told that in a few days it's about to get colder. Oy vey!!!!

I slept for 15 hours last night.

I couldn't figure out why my nose was stuffed up this morning or why my throat felt a little thick. Oh yeah, I'm not use to the cold here!

I forgot what fast internet was like. I don't have to wait a good 10 minutes or more for a YouTube video to upload.

The toilet seat is cold.

Thought I left mosquitoes in Uganda....but just got bit!

Static electricity - what is this?

Must. Find. Slippers. (after a somewhat thorough search, I don't think I shipped them back from HI)

Can't stop yawning.

Couldn't believe the number of people who were wearing warm clothes at Heathrow...oh yeah, it's cold outside in other places of the world.

What is this thing that fits in the palm of your hand that keeps ringing...I have a cell phone again.

Coconut oil doesn't stay in oil consistency in cold weather.

My arms feel empty.

After only being up for 7 hours I want to go back to bed for the night.

Getting to Know You: Rosie

Rosie, what can I say? You have grown so much since I got here. When we first met, you had the awesomest mohawk that was totally not cut that way! We shaved your head to help the rest of your hair grow along with this mohawk.....but it didn't work. You just got your head shaved again a few days ago. Maybe this time the rest of your hair will understand it needs to grow too!

Your faces crack me up. Many people have said you look weird - but I don't! I think you are one of the cutest babies I've ever seen...and your many faces prove it. You could entertain anyone for the entire day with your many antics, faces, coos, laughs, sheer determination in standing, and the list could go on.

I have loved watching you develop. When I first came into the nursery you were only rolling around - hence the nickname Rollie Rosie that I gave you. And, because you're just fab, you decided to skip learning to sit up and go straight to getting onto your knees which quickly morphed to standing. I finally saw you sitting up by yourself this week!

Rosie, Auntie loves you! You are a very close 2nd in my faves list. You are someone who gets things done. I can see you doing great things for Jesus - praying that you accept Him as your personal Savior and that you have a very close relationship with Him alone!

I know you have a family who loves you very much and cannot wait to bring you back home. So - on that note, hurry up and get on total solid foods because there is much love from home just waiting to be showered on you!